Say the words

It’s creepy when people won’t name a sum of money out loud. Ask a man the time and he tells you it’s a quarter after seven. Ask him the price, and he scribbles, cups the paper in his palm, and raises an eyebrow. It may be corporate policy, or a secrecy fetish, or a confidence trick. He may rationalize it, but I think at root there’s superstition.

You’ve probably seen this, or taken part in the ritual. One man says, with a significant look, “That would require generous resources.” The other writes a figure on a piece of paper and passes it over. An eyebrow is raised, or there’s some other non-verbal outcome. For extra points, the writer keeps hold of the paper, just letting the other man look. Then what? Does he burn the paper before sunset, scattering the ashes in running water? We never see that part.

“How much?” Well, hem, haw, we wouldn’t want to say. If the competition found out what we want for a load of A36 steel they might match it. Next thing you know there’d be a price list on the Internet, and a broken rice bowl. Oh, wait, it’s 2009. That bits of that particular rice bowl have been ground into the carpet.

Maybe there’s a craving for gravity. “We’re talking real money here; show some respect.” I wonder if a man is more likely to write the sum if he wants the other guy to think it’s a lot, but more likely to speak it if he wants to minimize it.

I always want to play the oaf and say “SEVENTEEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?” Because you see, I have my own need for ritual. I want it said out loud before God and man. If it’s a secret, don’t tell me. If you want me to keep it in confidence, ask me first.

I’m as reticent as the next guy. In fact I’m way more reticent than the next dozen guys. As near as I can tell, nobody but me is reticent at all now days, or even knows what reticence is. If the office is bugged, we should talk elsewhere. If it’s none of my business, there are ways to say so – “Our fees employ a sliding scale” or the classic, “If you have to ask you can’t afford it.” But spare me the stealthy scribble; the shifty-eyed sidle; the mutter from the corner of your mouth.

UPDATE:

• Trillion is the new billion.
• Venezuela is the new Zimbabwe.

That’s final

Actors’ Union Rejects “Final” Offer. Well, I’m glad that’s over. It will be interesting to see what new business models the studios develop, and what jobs the former actors take.

Authenticity

I went to a meeting with some church people the other day. It was about small group development, a very big thing right now. It was mostly good useful stuff, a few well-intended but unworkable suggestions, and a rather bland starchy lunch. The coffee was good. The only reason I know anything at all about small groups is because not enough people attend my Sunday school class to make a large group, so there’s no point getting into specifics.

What struck me was the preacher’s and participant’s repeated use of “authentic” and “authenticity.” It was like listening to old-time Sicilian Dons discuss a marriage proposal, except the Methodists said “authentic” instead of “respect.” And instead of “Yes,” “No,” “Amen,” and “Hallelujah.”

Of course words come into and go out of fashion, but this was really striking. I suspect one old guy (not me) used the phrase “emotional authenticity” as deliberate parody. Not that there’s anything wrong with parody, as long as it’s authentic. Nobody but me seemed to notice. Maybe they were too busy playing some protestant drinking game, taking a sip of coffee every time the preacher says “authentic.”

What’s the cause of this? I hope it isn’t coming from some focus group. Have people been saying we’re a bunch of phonies? If it’s true, deal with it – tell the truth; do what you say you will. If it isn’t true, ignore them. Either way, enough talk. Do something, and let people’s perception take care of itself.

LED bulb glows after I turn it off

I have a faucet that does the same thing.

The other day I bought some LED light bulbs to replace the incandescents in a light fixture. The light was on most of the day and evening until I went to bed. When I got up this morning, the bulbs were glowing faintly – one brighter than the other four. I removed one of the bulbs and it and the others continued to glow. It doesn’t look like phosphorescence; they seem to be on, but at low power.

It’s not a problem in this particular application, but it would be in others. When I turn a light off, it should go dark. If they can’t make that happen, the manufacturer should market it as a feature – “New, Afterglow® technology!” – and charge a dollar more.

UPDATE: Less than three months later, 2 of the 6 that I bought have stopped working. Whether because they’re junk or because my old house’s wiring is bad I don’t know. But it’s something I’ll have to take into account. They also had a depressing blue tinge, and were far dimmer than the package claimed – almost unusable. I’ve put the rest in some little-used fixtures. I’m going back to incandescents for now.

Go on and stimuluate then

I’m having a hard time caring

Supporters of the stimulus seem eager to fight someone for it. It feels ungracious not to vigorously oppose them, but it’s all basically a non-issue. If the Democrats want some piece of legislation, all they have to do is pass it.

The Democrats control the House, the Senate, and the Presidency. If they think the stimulus package is a good idea, then that’s everyone who matters. There is a theoretical possibility some Republican senators might try to filibuster, but in practice it won’t happen – it’s easy enough to find one or two Republicans to go along. If the Democrats want this stimulus, all they have to do is have a vote, and send it to the White House for President Obama to sign.

Then of course they have to take responsibility for having done so. And that’s where the shoe pinches.

Three links

• Imagine if material you had collected for serious academic use were just thrown out one day. That’s what happened to this graduate student. h/t
• “President Obama’s envoy to Afghanistan has said winning the conflict there will be “much tougher” than in Iraq.” Careful; that’s perilously close to saying we won in Iraq: “History may look back on the provincial elections held on the last day of January this year and see them as the point at which it could be said that Iraq had turned a corner and was heading towards a stable, democratic future.” Yes, January 2009 was the point at which it could be said. Late January, I think; sometime after the twenty-first.
• P.J. O’Rourke at his best:
  

  “America is experiencing a polar ice cap and financial meltdown, causing sea levels to rise and sending cold water flooding into Wall Street where the rapidly acidifying ocean is corroding our 401(k)s and releasing mortgage securities full of hot air into the atmosphere until our every breath is full of CO2 especially when we exhale, which should be banned when children are present lest their uninsured health care be harmed by second-hand greenhouse gases that are causing endangerment of plant and animal species (Republicans are extinct already), leading to a shortage of green, leafy vegetables vital to the fight against America’s growing epidemics of obese hunger and housing foreclosures on the homeless.” — The Next Big Stink. h/t

Reasonable men

Characteristics of rationalization

2.) You avoid talking about the action in itself and speak only in comparisons. The phrase “it’s no worse than___” is one to watch for. It also avoids saying the word “good” (see #1). — What is the difference between rationalization and reasoning?

Stimulus

Better and worse ways to stimulate the economy

• Better: Pay non-union miners to bury boxes of tens and twenties in old coal mines; pay union miners to dig them up again. Everybody wins.
• Worse: Try Dick Cheney for war crimes – no bread, but a big circus
• Better: Put a ten dollar bounty on newspapers – after the trash is all picked up, people will subscribe just to collect the money.
• Worse: Borrow a bazillion dollars and give it to your friends. Cut taxes to pay for it.
• Better: Send everyone a big box of chocolate.
• Worse: Send everyone a big salted herring.
• Better: Instead of money, pay everyone with plastic fish.
• Worse: Instead of money, pay everyone with government bonds. Oh, wait…

Just sayin’

North Korea may test-fire missile toward Japan-media. They’d probably get more attention if they test-fired a missile at the US media.