“Now maybe the Navy can tell our enemies that we’ll shoot them with the “laser” if they don’t pay us ONE MILLION DOLLARS!” — U.S. Navy Death Ray laser 1, target boat 0
This is one answer to many of America’s problems: We start collecting tribute. People will hate us? Hey, they already hate us, even with President Obama in the White house. If we take their stuff and grind their faces in the dust, they’ll still hate us but they’ll be afraid to say so, and we’ll have their stuff. Hey, being nice hasn’t won us any friends. And as a bonus, we’ll have world peace.
If I had been a Heathen,
I’d have sent my armies forth,
And dragged behind my chariots
The Chieftains of the North.
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And he drives the dreary quill,
To lend the poor that funny cash
That makes them poorer still. — The Song of the Strange Ascetic, by G.K. Chesterton