Space-time anomalies

Most of us have noticed, maybe subconsciously, that things are getting weird. Routinely guys down at the coffee shop read the paper, puzzle over a story, and conclude “that’s nuts.” What’s happening? The answer is in these overlooked news stories:

Clearly the consequences of Samoa’s risky time jump are again playing themselves out. The shift ’caused’ the kiwi to be transported half way around the world, and Osama bin Laden to suddenly appear in Pakistan. It strains credulity to think he could have been there for years without the Pakistanis knowing. Some would have you believe the Pakistanis are simply corrupt and incompetent; others say they’re playing a double game. Neither of these theories explains the kiwi, or the involvement of China, Pakistan’s long-time ally.

Watch for connections like this, whether in the past or the future, and they quickly become visible. Princess Beatrice’s hat; the Volkswagen Kharmen Ghia; the last-minute addition of twelve men to this picture of Secretary Clinton – inexplicable as rational choices, they can only be consequences of clumsy attempts to cover up space-time manipulation, just like the poor kiwi.


3 Replies to “Space-time anomalies”

  1. Obviously, the irresponsible time jump caused a conflation of quantum superpositions, one where the women were in the room and one where they were not at the time that the photo was taken. Somehow this quantum superposition resolved in two different ways in the electrons that represented the photograph. The government is merely trying to cover this up by claiming that it was this supposed thing called “photographshop” which can alter images in undectable ways. Yeah right.

    This quantum superposition thingie hit me on that same day when I made a firm and irrevocable decision not to eat any of the free corn chips that they put on my table at the Mexican restaurant because I’m watching my carbs and yet I ended up eating them all. What could possibly explain this sort of thing except a distortion of space-time reality at the quantum level where my memory of deciding not to eat the chips resolved from a quantum state inconsistent with the final quantum state of the meal?

    1. “conflation of quantum superpositions” – that’s good, I look forward to working that into conversation.

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