Modern times

Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Carol: …and then there’s one channel that’s all commercials. Just commercials, all the time!

Walt: We got the hopper. Do you have the hopper?

Carol: What is it?

Walt: Because if you have the hopper, hulu comes with it. Then with slingbox for dish, your netflix queue lets youtube connect wirelessly to the joeys app without commercials.

Carol: I don’t know what any of that means. It’s just all commercials, the whole channel, all the time.

Karl: If you get a Wii, they throw in a slingbox with it. Then with hulu for netflix, youtube comes up on your dish wirelessly, and you don’t need Joey’s app.

Carol: Hush up, Karl. So I should get a hopper? What does it do?

Walt: You should only get the hopper if you have a slingbox.

Karl: Don’t mess with the hopper. If you can hula, post a video on youtube and they’ll send you a roku dish. Then with an interociter you can watch netflix with Joey, wirelessly.

Carol: Hush! Where do I get a slingbox?

Walt: Mine came with the wireless dish adapter for the dvr.

Carol: Is that the gray box with the fat cables coming out of it?

Karl: Those are the U-tubes.

Walt: Is there a picture of a kangaroo?

Carol: There’s no kangaroo. Oh, “hopper!” Cute.

Walt: Well, I don’t know what that is then.

Carol: Maybe it’s the Skype phone?

Karl: It’s what the NSA uses to see what you’re watching.

Art: I thought that’s what they were using Google for.

Connie: Ed’s got a hopster, and he loves it.

Art: I thought they shut down hopster.

Connie: If you call Ed’s cellphone, his TV tells him who’s on the phone.

Art: I can watch TV on my phone.

Karl: I can watch TV on my TV.

Carol: It doesn’t matter if you can watch TV on your microwave, if there’s nothing on but commercials.

Walt: With Skype you can call your house when nobody’s home and see who’s there.

Art: But that only works if you buy a subscription from Comcast.

Carol: Karl just has an antenna.

Walt: Ed skypes on the bench outside the library with his smartphone, and he can play blueray on it.

Art: My granddad and his friends used to play boo-ray.

Carol: Comcast says you can get a free box for two years, or five if you’re on Medicaid. And I thought it was “blue-ray”?

Karl: What kind of box?

Carol: Some box you need if you don’t already have some other box, because they’re encrypting the cable. Hoestly, I’m tired of the whole business. I don’t even like TV that much. I’d just as soon cancel all the cable and everything and just watch movies on dvds.

Walt: You need netflix. Then you can just go to hulu and youtube if you have broadband. I don’t know if the hopper works with hulu.

Carol: I thought I’d just go to the video store.

Karl: They’re closing. Everybody has the internet now.

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