A path to American citizenship for all mankind

Here’s the process:

Go to the nearest US consulate and get the forms; fill them out, pay the fee, wait for approval, then make your way to the US.

Or, simply make your way to the US.

Can’t afford the fare, or don’t know the way? We’ll come and get you.

Don’t want to come? You can still collect benefits and vote absentee. We’ll send a ballot.

Or vote online using our secure voteserver – anonymized for your protection.

Let us know which path you want to follow. If we don’t hear from you by November, we’ll register a vote on your behalf.

Election rigging

Cokie Roberts on the radio the other day was explaining how irresponsible it is to impugn the integrity of the election process. It calls into question the legitimacy of whoever wins, you see. Recalling eight years of “President Select Bush,” this seemed a bit much. So I ask, to what extent is the election rigged?

Well, to what extent does it need to be? It’s not like anyone has thousands of phoney ballots to print up and then stuff into ballot boxes across the country. No vote in my county is going to have any effect on who gets my states’ electoral votes. We’re swamped by the voters in a handful of heavily populated counties.

There are only two or three key states that could go either way. Skew things just a bit in Florida, maybe by double-counting some absentee ballots and “losing” some others. Arrange a bit of electronic manipulation in Ohio; a delay here and there; an “accidental” release of results, or a “mistaken” early report of polling data calculated to increase turn-out in one place, or suppress it in another. At ninety-nine percent of the polling places across the country, no rigging would be necessary.

As to the ethics of the whole business, we saw what Democrats were willing to do to stop Mitt Romney and John McCain. What would be off the table if they were trying to stop Hitler? The theory is that integrity is maintained by Democrats watching Republicans, and vice versa. But how hard is the Republican Party going to fight for Donald Trump? Everybody knows the leaders would rather have Clinton, pro forma endorsements notwithstanding. They don’t need to collude in the rigging, not that they’re above that. All they need to do is fight weakly and ineffectively. Republicans are masters at fighting weakly and ineffectively.

So, I think the election is rigged in favor of Secretary Clinton, just like the Democratic primary was. I don’t think it’s rigged enough to overcome a landslide, but probably enough to give Secretary Clinton a point or two advantage. From a utilitarian point of view, a Clinton victory might not even be the worst outcome. If the country is going to continue its trip to perdition, I’d as soon have the handbasket carried by a Democrat.

Crazy, but not merely crazy

“Elwood P. Dowd not only has his invisible friend, the six-foot-tall rabbit named Harvey, but will take you to court unless you shake Harvey’s hand and register Harvey in at the hotel. Harvey must be your friend too, or else. Christian bakers who have retained their hold on reality can tell us what will happen to you if you say, ‘But there is no Harvey here, nor will I pretend that there is.'” — Pronouns, Ordinary People, and the War over Reality, by Anthony Esolen

Senator Gregg speaks

“‘It’s every person for himself or herself right now,’ former senator Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) said.”

Good thing the senator didn’t say “every man for himself,” like men did back in the bad old days. Whatever else happens to the Republican Party, at least they haven’t stooped to micro-aggression. Going forward they’ll need to get a handle on those binary-normative verbal structures, and I’m sure they will; but one step at a time.